Afraid of food

I have always loved food and eating! I admit that the foods that I love most are not always the healthiest – I love a good, messy cheeseburger and as I discussed in Tooth Extraction, I have a definite sweet tooth! Starving myself to get thin has never been an option for me.

When I was first living on my own, I got really thin. The two main reasons: one, I was poor and couldn’t afford to go out or buy much food and two, I often biked to work plus picked up running to spite an old boyfriend (another story for another time). At that point in my life, I didn’t drink much alcohol and I didn’t go out to eat. My diet consisted of baked potatoes, bagels, and rice. I enjoyed eating those things but mostly because that was what I could afford.

The second time that I got really thin, I had started using Nutrisystems and was working out about 2 hours every day. This was during the time of my “awakening” when I decided to leave my marriage and live on my own. The time proceeding, I had not been taking care of myself and when the fog lifted, I went heavy into exercise followed by restricting my diet to what came in a pre-packaged, chemical-laden “meal.” This was not a sustainable lifestyle and I ended up with a knee injury and a bum thyroid.

Today, I still struggle with consistently making healthy food choices because the greasy, sugary stuff tends to taste so good but I work at it. One thing I do not do is neglect to eat or let myself go hungry. I have friends and family who literally seem afraid to eat because they don’t want to gain weight. They are not only rejecting the “bad” stuff but also the nutritious items for fear of weight gain. It boggles my mind because we need food to live.

Therein lies a major problem, we have become so confused and twisted about body image and self-worth, that we will deny ourselves the fuel we need to live in order to get or stay thin. I don’t have the answers except to listen to our bodies and feed them what they need in order to live a full and healthy life. Sometimes that may be spinach and other times that may be Red Velvet Oreo Cookies – either way, moderation is key.

Author: Katherine Pryor

I am a middle-aged woman who is on a mission to get back in shape, lose some weight, and get back into writing. In a nutshell, I am working towards doing the things that maintain my sparkle and shine.

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